Hi! My name is Ari. Yes, like Ariana Grande. BUT I cannot sing. Unfortunately, that talent did not get passed down to me. However, this lapse in ability has not stopped me from singing. You know that girl that you see in your rearview mirror, while you are stopped at a red light, jamming out alone in her car? Yeah, that's me.
Anyways, so here's the thing,
This whole blog thing started about four years ago. Yet, this is my first post.
I know what your thinking.
"Wow, this girl is a procrastinator."
And while you are not wrong about that, the reason I never actually did anything with it was driven by something completely different.
You see, fear, a little four-letter word can cause so much havoc and chaos if we aren't careful. Unmanaged and ignored, fear can hinder every part of our lives. I had a fear of sharing my heart and sharing my thoughts. I had a fear of vulnerability and transparency. What if people read what I wrote and they wouldn't like it? I see this fear running rampant in the world today. There is this belief that being transparent and vulnerable makes you weak. But what if we dare to believe the opposite, that being transparent and vulnerable in reality makes you strong. That when we are honest about where we are in this life we aren't allowing fear to have the upper hand. What if, when we are honest about where we are we are making others strong, because they know that they are not alone. What if, when we are honest, we are no longer pretending, but allowing God to do what only He can do.
I use to let fear drive so many aspects of my life. Fear of the unknown, fear of God's plan not being my plan, fear of rejection, fear of another loss, fear of failure. I was fearful of sharing my thoughts in writing (and being honest I still struggle with it) because I felt this unreasonable need to please people and I was afraid that I would say something that someone didn't agree with or that it would sound "stupid" to someone else.
I am SO over it. I am so over that word making a mess of things, creating chaos where chaos isn't welcome. The enemy knows and uses that fear to distract us, to reroute us away from Jesus and It is time we had enough of it.
I've realized that I put waaayyy to much time into thinking about what others think of me. When it comes down to it I only need to worry about what Jesus thinks of me. He knows my heart, He knows my walk, and He knows my love for Him. And I know He loves me. If He didn't, He would not have laid down His life for me. And He didn't nail himself to a cross when I was perfect or worthy of dying for. News flash: that isn't ever going to happen so stop trying to preform. Truth: I do not deserve the grace that I have received, but man, what a loving and ever-pursuing savior I have that would die the death I deserve while I was still a sinner! Everyone needs that kind of grace and everyone has been allowed the opportunity to receive that grace. But, it's a choice you have to make. We can ignore it and call it hogwash or we can receive it and find freedom in Christ! Freedom from fear, freedom from guilt, freedom from sin. We can walk with Jesus and know that He holds yesterday, today, and tomorrow and in that truth there is absolutely nothing to fear.
With all that said, through prayer and council I have decided to stop listening to fear and just write. My prayer is that through the ups and downs of my life, through the hills and the valleys, you see Jesus and His enthralling and pursuing love for you.
You are all loved.
Sincerely,
Ari
